Gender and sexuality

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The different cultures of the Known World in A Song of Ice and Fire follow various social patterns of gender and sexuality.

There are certainly examples of men who have sex with men, and of women who have sex with women. Certain modern real-life terms, however, are never used within the text, such as "gay", "homosexual", "LGBT", etc. An in-universe term for homosexuality has simply never appeared within the narrative. Moreover, it is unclear if such conceptual categories even exist in every society in Westeros and beyond.

Gender and Sexuality in real-life Medieval Europe

The society of real-life Medieval Europe, like Greco-Roman societies before it, did not actually possess a binary of heterosexual versus homosexual. Instead, the sexual categories of the Greco-Romans were divided along a Top/Bottom dichotomy, between those who penetrate and those who get penetrated. Men who penetrated other men were seen as normal and masculine; only men who were penetrated were considered unusual or shamefully effeminate. Societies with Top/Bottom dichotomy, heavily defined by penetration, also often didn't conceptually recognize female homosexuality, even to condemn it.[1]

The society of Medieval Europe was similar to the older Greco-Roman models, with a Top/Bottom binary, given that both were male-dominated societies in which religious moral instruction was itself dominated by male priests. Pagan viking culture in ancient Scandinavia similarly followed a Top/Bottom binary. The major difference is that Medieval Christianity came to practice clerical celibacy for monks and nuns, so that the fundamental division of society became between celibate or non-celibate (not heterosexual verus homosexual), and among the non-celibate, this was further divided into Top/Bottom binary. These patterns only ended with the massive social changes of the Protestant Reformation in the 1500s, during which clerical celibacy was rejected by Protestants, and even the Catholic Church had to respond with a new emphasis on praising sex within marriage among the non-celibate.[1]

Homosexuality in real-life Medieval Europe

"Homosexuality" did not exist as a conceptual category in real-life Medieval Europe. It was seen as an action someone could perform, like adultery, but not as an exclusive category of identity. Given that the main social divide was between the celibate and the non-celibate, all non-procreative sex was frowned upon. A man receiving fellatio was condemned by the Church because it wasn't procreative, regardless of whether a woman or another man was performing it.[1]

Homosexual behaviors were seen as a venal sin of the flesh, rather than being heavily villified. It was roughly on par with adultery or masturbation, both of which were frowned upon, but mass persecutions of homosexuals were not commonplace.

Gender and Sexuality in A Song of Ice and Fire

Modern terms such as "gay", "homosexual", or "LGBT" have never appeared in the A Song of Ice and Fire novels. Moreover, no analogous in-universe term has ever been introduced. "Sodomite" wouldn't appear because this specifically originated from the Biblical Old Testament, which doesn't exist in the fictional world.

For that matter, it is as yet unclear if "homosexuals" are even considered a conceptual category of persons in Westeros and beyond, given that this conceptual category didn't actually exist in the real Middle Ages.

Characters who have engaged in homosexual behaviors

Certain characters have at times engaged in homosexual behaviors. Some men are stated to only prefer the company of other men. Others are said to have had sex with both men and women. It is unknown exactly how their society conceptually categorizes such behaviors.

Male characters who seem exclusively attracted to men include:

Some male minor characters' inclination to other men has only been hinted, such as Alf of Runnymudd and Garth Greyfeather,[2] and Kem.[3]

Male characters who have displayed sexual interest in both men and women:

Female characters who have displayed sexual interest in both women and men, including as a long term pattern and those who have experimented with women at one point or another:

No female characters have been identified yet that were explicitly only attracted to women (Sabitha Vypren might have been but her description is vague).

Only one named intersex character has ever appeared: Sweets, one of the lead slaves in Yezzan zo Qaggaz's private menagerie of slaves with physical oddities, and also one of his bedwarmers. Sweets is referred to by other characters as a "hermaphrodite" ("intersex" isn't a word in their culture), and uses male and female pronouns interchangeably.

George R.R. Martin has declared that their medieval world has no knowledge of genetics, so any more subtle chromosomal or hormonal conditions are unknown to them, only visible anatomical characteristics. He was specifically asked if Brienne of Tarth has some sort of chromosomal condition like Triple-X syndrome, but responded that he didn't know because the maesters in-universe don't know what DNA is at all.[6]

Societal Patterns of Gender and Sexuality in Westeros

The Faith of the Seven is the dominant religion in most of Westeros. Only three fringe regions with smaller populations have different social models: The North (where the Old Gods still dominate), the Iron Islands (where the religion of the Drowned God is dominant), and Dorne, whose Rhoynar population converted to the Faith when they migrated there a thousand years ago but kept their very different customs regarding sexuality and gender roles.

Essos and Sothoryos are even more diverse, with many different religions, political units, and sub-cultures, even between the nine different Free Cities.

Faith of the Seven

The Faith of the Seven has a celibate clergy, which possesses a gender-blind priesthood of both men and women.

The Faith believes that the Seven gave men and women their sexual parts purely for the begetting of children.[7] This may imply that they view all non-procreative sex as immoral, and therefore do not consider "homosexuals" to be a distinct category of persons. At the least, there is no cited instance of them ever speaking in such terms.

Possibly due to having female clergy, the Faith of the Seven does conceptually recognize female homosexual behavior, and frowns on it similar to how it views male homosexual behavior. Perhaps also due to having female priests, there is no evidence that their society has a Top/Bottom binary like the actual Middle Ages.

First cousin marriage is not considered incest by the Faith and is in fact relatively common among the nobility of Westeros. House Lannister, House Tyrell, and even House Stark (which follows the Old Gods) have all had first cousin marriages in the past generation or two. Even during the reign of Aegon I, when the Targaryens tacitly promised not to continue their incestuous marriages of brother to sister (or uncle to niece), the High Septon did not object when Aegon I's heir Aenys I Targaryen married his cousin Alyssa Velaryon. In contrast, in the real Middle Ages incest was broadly defined as marriage between third cousins or closer (though the definition varied considerably over the centuries).[1]

Actual attitudes towards sex outside of marriage or to homosexual behavior might not be uniform but vary from kingdom to kingdom or even family to family. Loras Tyrell's entire family knows that he is not attracted to women and in a sexual/romantic relationship with Renly Baratheon, but none of them cared; on the other hand he still kept it private to avoid public criticism. The Reach, or at least the Tyrell lands, may have a winking tolerance for homosexuality, but it is unknown if such attitudes are shared in The Vale of Arryn, or even in Oldtown to the south (seat of the High Septon in Westeros for many centuries until it moved to King's Landing 300 years ago).

On an everyday level, of course, many members of society do engage in sexual behaviors criticized by the Faith, such as homosexual behavior (Renly Baratheon and Loras Tyrell) or heterosexuals who engage in adultery and prostitution (Robert Baratheon).

The Faith of the Seven was introduced to Westeros by the invading Andals: Andal inheritance law is based on male-preference primogeniture. Daughters only inherit after younger sons, though daughters usually inherit ahead of younger uncles. Even in this system, however, it is not uncommon or unheard of for women to inherit lands and political power in their own right. If their husbands die in war, women are also frequently expected to rule as regents until their children come of age.

Old Gods of the Forest

The Old gods of the forest do not have an organized priesthood or holy texts. They do not have a celibate clergy, because they have no clergy of any kind. Adultery and prostitution are considered immoral.

Views of the Old Gods religion on homosexual behavior are unknown.

There may be some variation among followers of the Old Gods, particularly the cultural divide between the Free Folk who live north of the Wall, and the Northmen south of it ruled by House Stark. The Free Folk seem to have different views on gender roles: warrior-women are much more common among them. This may be due to Andal influence on the Northmen over the centuries (along with how the Northmen switched to using the language of the Andals).

The inheritance law practiced by the ancient First Men is somewhat vague: the Northmen apparently adopted the male-preference primogeniture of the Andals over the centuries, while the Free Folk abandoned any hereditary class of aristocracy (if they even had one in the first place). Legends about the Age of Heroes generally seem to indicate that the ancient First Men practiced male-preference primogeniture as well, though this may have varied from one region to the next - similar to later centuries, it appears that female rulers were uncommon but not unheard of.

Ironborn

The Ironborn, from the Iron Islands, follow the Drowned God. Unlike the Faith of the Seven, they have an all-male clergy known as the Drowned Men. It is unclear if they practice clerical celibacy, though this is irrelevant, given that their religion encourages ironborn raiders to take concubines in raids - they do not villify non-procreative sex as immoral.

Women have a low place in ironborn society. They are rarely encountered as warriors, though it is not unheard of to encounter a handful in any given generation serving on raiding ships. Nonetheless, no woman has ever ruled the Iron Islands, and there are no mentioned instances of a woman ever even leading an ironborn noble House.

At the same time, because female rulers are rare, there are no formal rules outright forbidding a woman from being captain of her own ship - and all ship captains have the right to vote in the Kingsmoot or even put themself forward as a candidate, as Asha Greyjoy did.

The ironborn practice a form of limited polygamy: a powerful lord may take only one primary wife (called a "rock wife"), but may also take multiple secondary wives called "salt wives". Salt wives are often taken in raids and are a step above concubines. Nonetheless, the children of salt wives are not considered bastards but legitimate heirs, albeit they rank behind all children by a rock wife.

There is some evidence that ironborn sexuality is not actually divided into the conceptual categories of heterosexual versus homosexual, but have a Top/Bottom binary. When Victarion Greyjoy's crew raped Maester Kerwin, a man, he didn't react as if it was unusual for his men to do so.[8] This matches the pattern of Top/Bottom dichotomy often found in strongly male dominated societies, such as the real-life pagan Vikings on which the ironborn are based.[1]

Historically, real-life societies with Top/Bottom dichotomy such as medieval Christianity or the pagan Vikings tacitly tolerated female homosexuality: because no penetration was involved, they didn't conceptualize this as "actual sex", and thus it was generally ignored (not actively condoned, but not actively condemned either).[1][9] The effect this may have on ironborn society hasn't been mentioned.

Dorne

The Rhoynar originated in mercantile city-states in Essos before they migrated to Dorne in Westeros, and retained the more urbane and relaxed sexual attitudes of their ancestors.

While the Dornishmen did convert to the Faith of the Seven, they do not view bastardy as shameful, and many lords (and ladies) openly keep paramours - officially recognized courtesans. The Dornish also consider it of no great concern if a man lays with another man, or if a woman lays with another woman, both of which are explicitly preached against by the Faith in the rest of Westeros.[10]

The Dornish also have drastically different attitudes about the social status of women: alone of the Seven Kingdoms it considers women to be the equals of men under the law and in all matters, to the point of officially practicing gender-blind primogeniture. This makes the Dornish unique among the Seven Kingdoms: because it united with the Iron Throne through marriage-alliance and not conquest, it was allowed to keep its own local laws and customs, particularly its different inheritance laws. Dornish women are often not only warriors but rulers, much more often than in the rest of Westeros, and carry themselves more confidendly and independently than most women from the other kingdoms.[10]

Societal Patterns of Gender and Sexuality Beyond Westeros

Free Cities

Each of the Nine Free Cities has its own unique culture and social patterns:

  • Braavos - women apparently have the right to vote for the Sealord, and to be keyholders for the Iron Bank. Independent courtesans can rise to high esteem among the social elite in Braavos. Slavery is utterly illegal in Braavos, founded by a fleet of slaves who escaped from Valyria, and as a result it is also the most religiously and ethnically diverse of all the Free Cities.
  • Volantis - there are five slaves to each free man in the city, but among the small minority of freeborn aristocrats, women are apparently considered equal to men. Women explicitly have the right to vote, and can even run for office as one of the ruling Triarchs of the city in the annual elections (provided that they meet the requirement of being able to trace their bloodline back to old Valyria). While women can run for Triarch, in practice none has actually won in three centuries, since the famous Trianna, who led the Elephant party to defeat the Tiger party at the end of the Century of Blood, to steer Volantis towards peace and rebuilding its shattered powerbase. Trianna was returned to office four times.
  • Lorath - founded by the Cult of Boash, an austere religion which explicitly considered all human beings equal, to the point that it outlawed slavery, and considered women totally equal to men. The Cult died out several centuries ago, however, and it is unclear if these attitudes continued in their society.
  • Norvos - a very conservative theocracy ruled by an all-male priesthood. Only male priests are allowed to have full beards, while only free men can wear moustaches, as a status symbol. In contrast, free women and all slaves shave their heads bald.
  • Lys - filled with many pillow houses catering to all appetites; the brothels of Lys are famous for producing the best pleasure slaves in the known world.

The religion of R'hllor, the Lord of Light, is very popular in the southern Free Cities, particularly Volantis. It practices temple prostitution.

Slaver's Bay

Women can come to rule over aristicratic families in Meereen in at least some circumstances. After Daenerys Targaryen's conquest of the city, many of the aristocratic families are subsequently led by daughters, sisters, and widows who lost male family members in the fall of the city.

The religion of Slaver's Bay is led by the Graces, an all-female priesthood. They also practice temple prostitution.

Qarth

In Qarth, women retain legal ownership over their pre-existing property when they marry - it does not pass to their husband's ownership. Conversely, a husband's property does not transfer to his wife either.

The Qartheen consider public displays of intense emotions to be a sign of refined manners. It is not considered effeminate for a Qartheen man to cry - indeed, a Qartheen man reporting bad news will go so far as to exaggerate his weeping for greater effect.

Women's dresses in Qarth traditionally leave one breast exposed.

The attitude of the Qartheen towards homosexuality is unclear: Xaro Xhoan Daxos, a powerful merchant-prince, is believed to sexually prefer comely young men, but how typical this is in their society as a whole is unclear.

Sarnor

The ancient kingdom of Sarnor considered women to be equal to men, as Sarnori women frequently rode to battle alongside their men.[11]

Dothraki

The Dothraki are mounted nomads and their warriors are all-male. They do not view women as strong warriors. The Dothraki practice polygamy, with one male khal often taking multiple wives.

Meanwhile, their religious leaders are the all-female Dosh khaleen ("council of crones"), the widows of dead khals, who assemble in Vaes Dothrak. Even the great Khal Mengo, who united all the Dothraki at the beginning of the Century of Blood, heavily relied upon the advice of his widowed mother, the purported witch-queen Doshi.[11]

The views of the Dothraki on homosexual behavior are totally unknown.

Valyrians

The ancient Valyrians had very odd views on incest compared to most other cultures: to keep the bloodlines pure, they traditionally married brother to sister whenever possible. If no siblings was available, they would at least try to wed uncle to niece or cousin to cousin. Even after the Doom of Valyria this custom survived under House Targaryen in Westeros.

The ancient Valyrians also practiced polygamy: it was actually uncommon, but not unprecedented either. Aegon the Conquer simultaneously married both of his sisters, Visenya and Rhaenys. Due to conflict with the Faith of the Seven, the Targaryens agreed to stop practicing polygamy, though they still kept practicing incest (possibly because they already had an incestuous bloodline, but could at least stop actively taking multiple wives).

Summer Islands

The Summer Islands have very positive attitudes towards sex, seeing it as a joyous and life-affirming act given to humanity as a gift from the gods. They practice temple prostitution and sacred sex worship.[12]

Summer Islander women are considered equal to men, often encountered as warriors, ship captains, or rulers in their own right.

Ibbenese

The Ibbenese stand apart from the other races of mankind - and may in fact be a relict population of Neanderthals (or similar hominid closely related to modern humans), though in-universe they are considered "humans" (apparently in a broader sense of the term). Ibbenese men can father children upon the women of other races, but products of these unions are often malformed and inevitably sterile, like mules. Ibbenese women, when mated with men of other races, bring forth only stillbirths and monstrosities.[13] However, other maesters speculate the Skagosi may have a strong admixture of Ibbenese blood.[14]

The slave-masters in Slaver's Bay consider Ibbenese women too ugly to use as bed-slaves.[13] An free Ibbenese prostitute named Assadora was observed working at a whorehouse in Braavos - but whether she catered exclusively to the fairly large number of Ibbenese whalers who dock at the city, or to non-Braavosi men with an interest in the exotic, is unknown.[15]

Thousand Islands

The inhabitants of the Thousand Islands, east of Ib and north of the Jogos Nhai, are savage tribes living on bleak rocky islands. They are highly xenophobic and do not leave the island chain. Both men and women are completely hairless, with sickly skin. Women file their teeth down to points. Their men "slice the foreskins from their members" - making them the only culture in the known world described as practicing circumcision (and the roundabout way that Yandel describes this seems to imply that "circumcision" is so unheard of in Westeros and the Free Cities that he doesn't know a term for it).[16]

Yi Ti

The god-emperor of Yi Ti openly keeps dozens of court concubines, though it is unclear if lesser lords do the same.[17] The breakaway kingdom on the island of Leng is ruled by a matrilineal dynasty of god-empresses. By tradition, each empress takes two husbands: one from the ethnically Yi Tish settlers on the north of the island, and one from the native Lengii people remaining on the southern end.[18]

Hyrkoon

The three surviving city-states of Hyrkoon have all-female warriors, due to some religious belief that only those who give life can take it. As Addam of Duskendale's account frequently reminds us, Hyrkoon warrior-women go about bare breasted, with iron rings through their nipples.[11]

Jogos Nhai

The Jogos Nhai nomads live on the eastern side of the Bone Mountains from the Dothraki, in the arid plains north of Yi Ti. They have very different views on gender compared to the Faith of the Seven in Westeros.

Each tribe of the Jogos Nhai is led by a jhat (war leader) and a moonsinger (combination priestess, healer, and judge). The jhat is always male and rules over external affairs, while the moonsinger can only be a woman and rules over internal affairs. If a young male wishes to be a moonsinger, however, he can - but he must dress and live as a woman. Similarly, a young female who wishes to be a jhat must dress and live as a man. Zhea the Cruel, one of the most famous Jogos Nhai war-leaders in history, who united them all as jhat of jhats to smash the armies of Yi Ti, was himself born a biological female.[19]

Asshai

Nothing is forbidden in Asshai, a dark city of sorcerers.

There are no children in Asshai.

The foul fumes of the Ash River (or some other malign presence) kill all animals brought to the city, and render humans sterile if they stay long enough. The Asshai "reproduce" by purchasing slave-children from other lands, then raising them as the new generation (something of a magic-practicing parallel to how the maesters are an order or culture, but not a "race" of lineage).[20]

Far to the east of even Asshai is Carcosa, a strange city ruled by its yellow emperor.[21]

Non-human races

Not much is known about the cultures of non-human sapient races, who have dwindled to near-extinction in recent millennia.

  • Scattered accounts of the Children of the Forest state that their females hunted and fought alongside their males.[22]
  • Among the fur-covered, Sasquatch-like race of Giants, it is observed that their females look very similar to their males[23][24]
  • As for "The Others", the "white walkers" of the Long Night, there hasn't been any confirmation that they even have females - though the legend of the Night's Queen (if true) seems to imply that this is possible. Old Nan's scary nursery stories claim that the Others kidnap human women to sire foul half-Other children with them - though this may just be a tale to frighten misbehaving children. Even if there are female Others, however, that doesn't necessarily mean they even reproduce at all - or whether they are ice demons of some sort, never "born", but just happening to have gender.

Dragons, while not a sapient race but animals (albeit very intelligent ones), are still noteworthy for their relatively unusual reproductive biology. Dragons have no fixed gender differentiation - according to Barth and Maester Aemon, dragons are “but now one and now the other, as changeable as flame”,[25] presumably meaning that they are able to change from one sex to the other. This knowledge was later lost, with many maesters doubting that was true. Maester Yandel's commentary in The World of Ice and Fire indicates he believed a dragon to be female if it had laid eggs. He took the fact that Vermax was never observed laying eggs as proof that it must have been male.[26]

Quotes

"Our bodies were shaped by our Father and Mother so we might join male to female and beget trueborn children. It is base and sinful for women to sell their holy parts for coin."

--Septon Raynard to Cersei Lannister[7]

There are other customs besides that mark the Dornish as different. They are not greatly concerned if a child is born in wedlock or out of it, especially if the child is born to a paramour. Many lords—and even some ladies—have paramours, chosen for love and lust rather than for breeding or alliance. And when it comes to matters of love, that a man might lie with another man, or a woman with another woman, is likewise not cause for concern—and while the septons have often wished to shepherd the Dornishmen to the righteous path, they have had little effect.[10]

The man's infamous, and not just for poisoning his sword. He has more bastards than Robert, and beds with boys as well.[27]

Jaime Lannister to Tywin Lannister

He knew the man only by reputation...but the reputation is fearsome...His tourneys, his battles, his duels, his horses, his carnality... it was said that he bedded men and women both, and had begotten bastard girls all over Dome.[28]

- Thoughts of Tyrion Lannister; the very literal way that Jaime and Tyrion describe Oberyn's sexuality avoids using modern terms such as "homosexual" or "bisexual".

A man may prefer the taste of hippocras, yet if you set a tankard of ale before him, he will quaff it quick enough.[29]

-Cersei Lannister, speculating that Renly Baratheon may have deflowered Margaery Tyrell, despite his inclinations towards her brother Loras.

"One objection was raised: Laenor Velaryon was now nineteen years of age yet had never shown any interest in women. Instead he surrounded himself with handsome squires of his own age and was said to prefer their company. But Grand Maester Mellos dismissed this concern out of hand. “What of it?” he is supposed to have said. “I am not fond of fish, but when fish is served, I eat it.” Thus was the match decided."
--Archmaester Gyldayn's history, on the decision to arrange a marriage alliance between Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen and Laenor Velaryon[30]

References

  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 Ruth Mazo Karras, Sexuality in Medieval Europe: Doing Unto Others (Routledge, 2005, 2d ed. 2012)
  2. A Dance with Dragons, Chapter 31, Melisandre I.
  3. A Dance with Dragons, Chapter 66, Tyrion XII.
  4. A Feast for Crows, Chapter 2, The Captain Of Guards.
  5. A Feast for Crows, Chapter 40, Princess In The Tower.
  6. So Spake Martin: Brienne of Tarth, January 31, 2001
  7. 7.0 7.1 A Feast for Crows, Chapter 36, Cersei VIII.
  8. A Dance with Dragons, Chapter 56, The Iron Suitor.
  9. Gunnora Hallakarva, Homosexuality in Viking Scandinavia.
  10. 10.0 10.1 10.2 The World of Ice & Fire, Dorne: Queer Customs of the South.
  11. 11.0 11.1 11.2 The World of Ice & Fire, Beyond the Free Cities: The Grasslands.
  12. The World of Ice & Fire, Beyond the Free Cities: The Summer Isles.
  13. 13.0 13.1 The World of Ice and Fire, Ib
  14. The World of Ice & Fire, The Stoneborn of Skagos.
  15. A Feast for Crows, Chapter 34, Cat Of The Canals.
  16. The World of Ice & Fire, East of Ib.
  17. The World of Ice & Fire, The Bones and Beyond: Yi Ti.
  18. The World of Ice & Fire, The Bones and Beyond: Leng.
  19. The World of Ice & Fire, The Bones and Beyond: The Plains of the Jogos Nhai.
  20. The World of Ice & Fire, Asshai-by-the-Shadow.
  21. The World of Ice & Fire, Yi Ti.
  22. The World of Ice & Fire, The Dawn Age.
  23. A Storm of Swords, Chapter 15, Jon II.
  24. A Game of Thrones, Chapter 53, Bran VI.
  25. A Feast for Crows, Chapter 35, Samwell IV.
  26. The World of Ice & Fire, The North: Winterfell.
  27. A Storm of Swords, Chapter 62, Jaime VII.
  28. A Storm of Swords, Chapter 38, Tyrion V.
  29. A Feast for Crows, Chapter 3, Cersei I.
  30. The Rogue Prince.