The Teats are a pair of grassy hills in the disputed border area between Stone Hedge and Raventree Hall in the northwestern riverlands. The hills resemble women's breasts, so they became known as the Teats or the Mother's Teats, after the aspect of the Seven. Situated between the hills is the village of Pennytree.
The hills and their surrounding lands have frequently changed hands in the ongoing conflict between House Bracken and House Blackwood. The Battle of Six Kings, in which the Storm King Arlan III Durrandon defeated five kings from House Teague, was fought between the Mother's Teats.
In 172 AC, King Aegon IV Targaryen dubbed the hills Barba's Teats in honor of his buxom mistress, Barba Bracken. Later that year Aegon took up a new mistress, Melissa Blackwood, who was slender. After it was heard that Barba had insulted the size of Melissa's breasts, Aegon renamed the hills Missy's Teats, and granted them from House Bracken to House Blackwood. Each rival family still calls the hills by their preferred name.
A Dance with Dragons
Lord Jonos Bracken unsuccessfully asks Ser Jaime Lannister for the Teats as a reward for subduing Lord Tytos Blackwood in the siege of Raventree. Hoster Blackwood discusses the region's history with Jaime after leaving Raventree Hall.
- Hoster Blackwood and Jaime Lannister
Hoster: Aegon the Unworthy took Barba Bracken as his mistress. She was a very buxom wench, they say, and one day when the king was visiting at the Stone Hedge he went out hunting and saw the Teats and...
Jaime: ...named them for his mistress. Only later he put the Bracken girl aside and took up with a Blackwood, was that the way of it?Jaime: ... gave her Barba's teats.
Hoster: Lady Melissa. Missy, they called her. There's a statue of her in our godswood. She was much more beautiful than Barba Bracken, but slender, and Barba was heard to say that Missy was flat as a boy. When King Aegon heard, he ...